Whoa! (in Joey from Blossom tone) it has been a super long time since I've been on here. I didn't think it appropriate to write while I was drugged up. Cause who knows what I would have said? In fact, if we've spoken on the phone, email, face to face or any other contact in the last week, please forgive me. I may have said things that I don't remember, promised things I can't deliver or complemented you on something that doesn't make sense. Especially those sweet folks that came to see me in the hospital...I really am not even sure what I said to you. But thanks for coming ;-)
Anywho...my surgery was a success! Last Thursday my doctor was able to remove my blood clot and stitch up the whole that was causing the problem. Praise Jesus! However, the process kinda sucked. My sweet girl was really worked up that I was going to the hospital. She asked to take a picture of my husband and I with her that day, "so she wouldn't forget us." She asked to pray on her way to school. She told her teacher, "mommy is going to the hospital today" gave her a huge hug and wouldn't let go. She must have an icky feeling about me and hospitals. When the baby died I went to the hospital and she didn't see me for almost 4 days. That's a long time in little kid world. So she was a little freaked out last week. That's not a fun way to leave.
I went into the surgery not knowing what was going to happen while I was under. So I was super bummed to hear my doctor had to make an incision along my c-section. She was hoping to do things laparoscopically. However, when she went in with the camera she found the hole was way bigger than she thought it would be and she couldn't repair it without the incision. Here's where divine intervention comes in...my doctor told me this would have never healed by itself. Why is that a big deal you ask? Well it was a tough decision for me to do the surgery. I had a super hard time saying, "Ehh..." to being cut open again. One option was to be on medication to see if it would lessen the clot. Well that stuff messed me up. I was not a happy girl. But I felt so defeated that just because I couldn't handle the meds I had to have surgery. I was mad at my body and mad at myself that I couldn't handle that medicine so something else, way more drastic, had to happen.
To hear that the meds would have NEVER solved this problem was so comforting. I feel like God intervened. He made it so that the meds had a negative affect on me. He made it feel peaceful when my husband and I decided to do the surgery. In something I felt defeated in, He had a bigger plan. He intervened.
Thinking about that...doesn't He always? If God didn't intervene in my life, it would look a lot different. According to my 8th grade letter to myself, future me would be in advertising in New York. Would not be married and would never have kids. If God hadn't continually intervened in my life, I would have missed out on so much.
Divine intervention allowed me to meet my husband, change career plans, see that kids were a good idea and have the opportunity to move all over the world. Divine intervention led me to write this craziness, see joy in healing and learn to say, "Ehh..." and let God divinely intervene in my life.
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