When I was a sophomore in high school and I lost the student council elections by two votes, that was the worst.
When I graduated high school and had to move away from my boyfriend, that was the worst.
When I was a sophomore in college and I got a C in editing, that was the worst.
When I was 19 and I wanted to go on a missions trip but my parents said no, that was the worst.
When I was graduating college and my boyfriend said "I love you and I'll call you when I get home," and never called, that was the worst.
When I didn't get the job I thought I was meant for, that was the worst.
When we were struggling financially and someone told me, "aren't you too old to be buying Ramen Noodles," that was the worst.
When my co-teacher got fired under suspicious circumstances, that was the worst.
When I was teaching and got hit by a student, that was the worst.
When we had to move, that was the worst.
When I was diagnosed with a thyroid disease, that was the worst.
When I had a late term fatality and had to deliver, that was the worst.
When I had to have surgery to repair my body after the delivery, that was the worst.
When I had radiation to treat my body, that was the worst.
When we moved to another country, that was the worst.
When my husband worked a lot, that was the worst.
When my baby was in ICU, that was the worst.
When we moved from the other country, that was the worst.
When my husband traveled a lot, that was the worst.
When my husband didn't work, that was the worst.
When my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer, that was the worst.
When my mom was sick, that was the worst.
When my daughter wouldn't talk to me, that was the worst.
When my son was diagnosed with autism, that was the worst.
When we couldn't sell our house, that was the worst.
When my husband's job ended, that was the worst.
When I read this list and realize, there is more to come, that is the worst.
We are never done growing. We are never done learning or changing or coping. It is easy to look at all this junk and ask "why does all this happen to me?" We search for why our God would allow these things to happen. Is it for my good? Is it for someone else's benefit? Will I suffer long? What joy will come from this? We look for a reason. Our focus is so specific to the one, or two or (yuck!) three issues we are dealing with at the time. We have a hard time seeing all the other things happening around us.
A friend recently told me, she learned to look at the Reason not just the reason. Right now you are probably saying, "she wrote she got a C in editing, but that sentence really doesn't make sense!" :-) The reason (with a little r) can drive us nutty. Searching and searching can make us think we understand God. But His ways are higher than our's and we will not understand His wisdom (Isaiah 55:8-9). We can't possibly understand how our "worsts" fit into His plan. However, when we look at the Reason (with a big r) we can put our focus on what really matters. Looking to Jesus as not just the Reason for the Season, but as the Reason for our life, can drastically change our point of view. We are called to focus on what is true and pure and lovely. (Philippians 4:8) Only one has all those qualities. When we can look at Jesus, we see there is no evil in good. There is no trail too lofty or difficult. We are to bring glory to our Reason. Bringing glory to Him can look all sorts of ways, but one thing would be not to dwell on the worsts but to focus on The Best.
So to the "worsts" in life, I say, "Ehh..." and know that God has a plan for my pain and it is to bring glory to His son and that is all I need.
