Love the Little Things

Recently I was explaining to my future sister - in - law, that I used to be fun. This sentence made me think, "What else did I 'used to be?'" I think I used to be a lot of things. I used to be active. I used to be silly. I used to be optimistic, inspired and hopeful. I used to get paid to make people laugh, for goodness sakes! So much of those great qualities have been toned down. Most of the time I am self centered and full of my own pain. I'd like to say that most days it is just physical pain, but honestly, most days it is physical and emotional pain. This pity party is for the birds and I would rather be partying somewhere else.

So here goes...I am going to be myself. I am going to pray for others, I am going to serve others, I am going to use the phone for more than just people watching on Face Book. I am going to focus on the little things to remember what is great. 

Here is my first try at looking at the little stuff...

Last week my little guy (who really is getting medium sized) read a book to his little sister, while she hugged him. 

Earlier this week he said, "I'm sorry I was being rude." 

Two days ago he earned a really cool Lego set for not hitting anyone all week. 

Yesterday he said "OK" when asked to do a chore. 

Today his big sister held his hand as we read a book. 

These are all little things but they sure add up!

About a year ago he was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, anxiety disorder and ADHD. Yikes...What a combo!! Since then he has also been diagnosed with Celiac Disease, tree-nut allergies and sleep apnea. He would be so out of control that he would hurt himself and others. He would scream terrible things at people. There were times I locked myself, and the girls in a room so they wouldn't hear or see things that would hurt them. During all of this, the rest of life had to happen. Two little girls had to be taken care of, a marriage had to be focused on, responsibilities of work and volunteering had to be fulfilled. Life had to keep going.

However, we did not have to live, life like that forever. We have been blessed by training, medication and support. This little man, often has peace in his brain and calmness in his body. He has been on playdates, invited to birthday parties and involved with sports teams. He has come so far. 

So to all the pity I feel for myself as I struggle with pain that limits me from being who I want to be...I say "Ehh..." and decide I will not sweat the big stuff but rejoice in the small stuff.